1. Loving a Relationships – a. Take Risks, b. Playful in face of risk, c. Respectful Honesty, d. Go after what you want, e. Live for cause bigger than yourself; voulenteer
2. 7 dating advice tips – a. Negotiation is a bad tactic for change, internal change bears external change, accept person will stay the same; b. Chemistry is a phase, ask self if would be friends if wasn’t infatuated? C. Duration is a bad measure of relationship success D. Don’t give up relationships with friends e. Don’t change what you want to do for others f. When you’re in conflict explain the why of your actions.
3. Negotiation – a. identify real object you’re here to get, “I can’t” is a chance to negotiate, validate what they want. B. Make list of ways both parties can get objectives c. Keep no deal in back of mind d. Don’t bluff, screw them over or always agree.
4. Meet cool people at college – a. Be the hub, organize things; b. Be the beacon, stand out in a likeable way; c. Try new things.
5. Little finger – a. Don’t try to convince others about their decisions, if they don’t like your suggestion then drop it, plant ideas, make persuasive points, realize the decision is theirs and back off if not interested; b. Don’t let ego get in the way of goals, put your interests ahead of everything, even ego, turn the other cheek. c. Let others take the credit/feel in charge and successful. d. Don’t be sentimental, nothing is sacred. Don’t worry about trappings of power.
6. Have a tough convo – a. Write down what’s acceptable and what’s not; b. Empathize with other person; c. Set the tone, facts and feelings; when you say blank, I feel blank. Go on the record early. d. Make sure there is understanding; e. Own your faults; f. Use Socratic method for non-vital topics.
7. Storytelling – a. use a high emotion hook ex: the greatest moment of my life, then jump cut back to beginning and tell in first person, b. varry speech pattern, tone and energy, c. Emphasize specific words by dragging them out, d. Think about specific emotion and convey it with tone, face and body.
8. Conversation Openers – a. treat others like the human equivalent of google, drive toward feeling questions; b. Human Twitter – talk about topics around you; c. “Hey I don’t believe we’ve met I’m (blank).”
9. Body language tips – a. Expansive gestures, b. Seeking behavior is bad, engage with who you’re with. B. Smiling;
10. Be liked – a. Warmness – touch; b. Laughing at others jokes, but don’t force it so at least give a smile; c. Tease others than compliment about what they’re in control of; d. Interested in others.
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Ricky J. Smith 