1. 7 ways to be more popular – a. Conviction – strong self belief, lean in an and nod while making point, cut through detail when making points; b. Storytelling – slow down and focus on details, add 1 tangent, make eye contact during main points; c. Honesty – more open, no truth is unspeakable, be vulnerable and then move on to next thought, never hide truth; d. Non-judge mental – you’re 99.9% the same as your enemies genetically, everyone is the hero of their story your enemy is doing their best, never join those around you in hating on someone. E. Move toward passion, not power – focus on the quality or connection, speak an extra sentence to the person you’ve not been connecting with.
2. How to remain calm – a. Exposure therapy, but don’t rush into it; b. Use state breaking questions – ex: where did you get those shoes, use empathy, use carrot and stick method, ask self how to turn this situation into an asset.
3. Likeability – a. compliment people’s choices; actions, clothing, or for getting something done. B. Share a story that makes you look bad, be honest about what’s in others best interests. C. Keep convo focused on others. D. Open body language. e. Be thoughtful, exceed expectations without asking permission. F. Go first, especially to make jokes.
4. Influence anyone – a. Build rapport – put self on literal and figurative side; touching; get them talking for men it’s about solving problem, for women it’s emotions; “I care about what you have to say.” B. Learn how they view the world, actively listen; show vulnerability, figure out what makes them tick; c. Pacing and leading: state your world view, mirror how they feel, Share similar experiance, “i understand you feel (blank), Praise them, then lead them. Ex; “I believe in equality, I understand you’re mad about the gender wage gap, and you’re a very smart person so you should get paid as much as anybody, but closing the pay gap won’t solve anything because…”
5. Mark Zuckerberg – a. Be open physically and honest; b. Embarrassing situation, laugh at self and ask to see again, but don’t force laugh, you can smile and chuckle and ask to see it again. C. Congruence, believe what you say and say what you believe and have a tone that matches what you’re saying. D. Swing arms when walking. E. Be present, always.
6. where relationships go bad – a. Make sure to put self and goals first and also your purpose in life first, and also the future first; b. Spend time with friends; c. Sharing positive emotion is good.
7. Conversational mastery – a. Use how/why when asking questions, and ask open ended questions. B. Look to the environment for conversation starters. C. Cold read; you look like the type to (blank). D. Mirror conversation “so you like (blank)?” E. Revival questions: “how do you know one another?” “What’s your story?” Or “any future plans?”
8. Interview questions – a. Answer phone, b. Show up on time, c. Realize it won’t matter in 100 years d. Interview starts when you enter the building e. Open body language, deep breaths, open wrists; f. Figure out 10 stories from working past Pick 3-5 stories you can tell when asked questions. g. A good question: “let’s assume things go well and I get the job; in 1 year what will I have to have done well in the job to make the hire worth it?”
9. Don’t get cut off: a. Pause mid sentence, not at the end. B. Speak excited, especially at the beginning; c. Loud, you desserve to be heard; d. Don’t ramble; e. Compliments, fun and funny stories; f. If you need to complain do it via. Stories; g. Relate story to listener.
10. 3 ways to influence someone – a. Warmer rooms = more liked. B. The environment primes people to feel a certain type of way about you. C. People treat you how you’re dressed.
Ricky J. Smith 