A. Stress –
1. Stress comes from needing something to happen
2. Don’t need to do something, assume the worst outcome and it won’t be that bad
3. Increase feeling of control; tree planting; can always go back, always another option;
4. Change beliefs on emotional level; the switch pattern; on one hand place negative on other place positive if you feel nervous switch to positive image
B. Self doubt
1. Expand body
2. Exercise
3. Reframe anxiety as a lesson to be learned
4. Slow down, breathe deep
5. Filter out negative stuff
6. Subconscious speaks in experiances – free write bad experience then destroy it
7. Write letter to self from other person apologizing
8. Get pissed someone else is dictating thoughts/emotions
C. Charisma – reading anyone
[1. Read self, self reflect
2. People trying to get out of convo: look at watch, angel away
3. Where body is facing is where attention is
4. Non engaged is affirmatives; engaged is questions
5. Micro expressions are what people are really feeling
6. Identify patterns
D. Charisma power W
1. When – control when things happen; sit easily in silence, control when an interaction starts and ends, pause before speaking if other person initiates, non reactivity, who moves more/first loses, don’t react to other person
2. Who – frame yourself as the important one in any interaction; why should I work for you? Why should I spend time with you? Screen other person, close space, change position socially, get in between barriers, break social ritual that reinforces uneven power dynamic, move next to person if possible, I don’t need any specific person, I have options, mentally review other options
3. What – tell a story that relates to the topic, how can I help this person
4. Where – you want people on your turf, places you know, around people you know
5. If can’t control when it occurs then control what is most important,
6. If can’t control where then control who is most important
E. Sociopaths
1. Separate you and replace family unit; brother, sister, mother, father, children are terms
2. Lingo to disguise what is happening – calling all dissenters “suppressors” “sinners” etc.
3. Demonize asking questions that lower authority; if asking questions seems bad be weary
4. Games/tests that reward compliance – getting you do do things to comply
5. Fake reciprocity – giving you something for free then asking for money for it
F. The rock
1. Gesticulations – use hands as much as possible express yourself/ large gestures
2. Laugh loudly when laughing
3. When telling stories act out moments – take deep breath
4. Talk candid about soft spots, super venerable and confident in stories; being open, vunarable, strong honest
5. Spreading genuine, specific praise
6. Physical interaction – high fives, hugs, uplift people
G. Persuasion
1. Focus on the other person, how does this help them? Not the I
2. Don’t voice negative stuff about self
3. say what they got going, say what they need help with, introduce self as solution, we can do well
4. Show what I can do for you
5. Praise them, show what they require to move ahead, present self as solution, show them opportunities
6. Speak in simple words, occasionally throw in a big word to be more precise but only if audience will understand it
Funny – Dave chapelle
1. Play a lot of characters/ get into the character
2. Increase tone during specific words, decrease tone during specific words
3. Silence at moment of tension; more tension slow down
4. Fake out – Use tone to present one joke but pause at moment of maximum tension and go other way
5. Lead in with serious tone with a silly punchline – ex profession wall watcher, it’s stressful because…
6. Agree and amplify jokes
7. Prioritize humor in first impression – a few times a day
8. Tease self when in position of power occasionally
9. Mindset to express yourself
Passive aggressive
1. Eye contact
2. First time give benefit of the doubt
3. Warning shot – remind them; aren’t we working here? Don’t get boxed in, reframe question
4. Call it out – your leg is shaking, ask your question
5. Ask what are we doing here
6. Walk away
Will smith enterence
1. slow, high energy walk in
2. Supportive of others: first to laugh, first to joke don’t fake laughter just smile
3. Affirm and nod when others are speaking
4. Make others feel loved and heard – spread the praise
5. Slow down when telling story
6. Make eye contact with everyone
Ricky J. Smith 