1. Seven phrases that show you lack confidence – a. Just (blank); b. I was wondering… c. Is this guy bothering you? Instead compliment other person d. Uh, um, like, ya know etc. e. I’m sorry, but f. You probably don’t remember, care etc. f. Instead of saying someone is making you do something, say I’m going to do blank, remember you control your life.
2. Be nice without being a pushover – a. Direct compliment, be specific, compliment an attribute, a choice or a decision, but use this sparingly; b. push/pull compliment, or vice versa; c. Absurd compliments, over the top; d. Self-deprecation but rare and only when leading a convo; e. Teasing, okay on topics where the other person is strong, not okay on something they struggle with; f. If someone teases you and you don’t like it first ignore, then use sarcasm, then some situational humor can be a powerful tool
3. Russell brand – use the push/pull method. Give them a compliment, then make a joke or tease them to deflate the intensity of the joke; be deliberate in your delivery – really mean it; use technique early in an interaction.
4. 7 things to remember – a. If you hear something constantly it’s probably true; b. 90% of negotiation is in starting it; c. Scarcity is a sales tactic; d. Arguing over life philosophies isn’t worth it, okay to share but agree to disagree and focus on your results; e. Experiance trumps book smarts; f. Lie of omission is a real thing, don’t do it; g. Growth comes when you do the opposite of what you’ve done before
5. How to be witty – a. Out of context analysis – applying a different context to something ie: someone is cutting weeds, they’re really collecting weeds to create stock for their weed empire. b. specificity- add as many details as possible c. Double down on jokes, agree and amplify.
6. Why you don’t feel good enough – a. Remember that love means the other person is happy; b. Remember life is hard; c. Accept and love yourself unconditionally; d. Negative emotions are habits; e. Daily tell yourself you accept you as you are; f. Extend love to the person you least want to; empathize with them, they’re still a human being
7. How to be alone – a. You can be in public and be lonely, the only antidote is through connection; b. Take some time to treat yourself
8. Shy to confident – a. Grab attention with a hook, use high impact words/phrases ex: insane story, let me tell you why; repeat yourself until you speak; enter the conversation louder and quiet down; vary pitch and speed; b. Share the spotlight, try to include others, give recognition, give compliment, ask questions, friendly touch ie: high five; c. Fully commit to act, it’s okay to look dumb on occasion
9. How to flirt for introverts – a. Do things you’re interested in, go to those places, if you do something already just do it in public; b. Share your interests; c. Ask open ended questions; d. If they elaborate on a thought, try to empathize with it; e. Get into one on one convo, and focus on it; f. Ask them out – stop them “hey”, acknowledge the social situation “I know we work together”, say what you think “I enjoy talking to you”, say what you want “I want to go out and grab drinks with you.” Make sure you use statements over questions, you’re sharing your opinion, and coming across more confident.
10. How to not give a fuck – a. Be in your own corner, live your own life, don’t try and convince others; b. Care about specific things, ex: knowledge, value and improvement and not thinking about the rest; pick a goal and everything else is secondary